INFJ-Looking for Love

INFJs who make up about 2-3% of the American population are true romantics but will be "behind the scenes" about it.

They are deep thinkers and their sense of "feeling" colored with intuition can make their romantic and love thought almost psychic.

They will care deeply for the ones they love but can be quickly hurt by the same. INFJs do have a tendency to take things way too personally.

Reading, writing, thinking, praying, listening to music are things the INFJ will revel in and may be expressed on a date. If you don't like those things, think twice before you date an INFJ. Well, think twice before you let yourself fall in love with one.

INFJs will enjoy museums, art galleries, libraries, bookstores and the like. These can be not only great places for taking an INFJ on a date but also are good places to meet one as well.

When you first meet an INFJ you will hear "feeling" being spoken. They may not speak first but they will respond kindly to what you say. Just be prepared to hear "feeling" spoken. If you can speak "feeling" you have an advantage in the conversation with the INFJ. If you understand "intuition" you are ahead of the game with them.

INFJs appreciate affection. If you can't or won't give affection do not date an INFJ. If you are pretending in your offers of affection know that in time the truth will come out and INFJs do not respond well to a lack of affection in any environment.

INFJs may be the most passionate of all the 16 types but VERY PRIVATELY so.

If you are INFJ look for the "NF" types first. (intuitive feelers) then the "SF" (sensing feelers) second. The total opposite type is ESTP. In my opinion, proceed there with caution.

But hey, you can date any type you want.

Build your relationships on instinct.

So What Causes the "Grip" Experience?

Well, the keyword in the title of this post is "causes". There will almost always be more than one reason or situation that causes one to go into the personality "grip" experience.

Overall, your instinctively preferred conscious function (either Sensing, Intuition, Feeling or Thinking) is at a very low energy level.

Ok, so what caused that? Several things: (not in any particular order)

Fatigue. My late father used to say that "fatigue makes cowards of us all." I grew up with that, and a few others; but, he was right.

When we are physically tired due to overwork, lack of sleep, perhaps too much activity, maybe chronic fatigue syndrome, things like that we run out of conscious energy and drop to the inferior function to handle whatever is going on and this happens rapidly.

Illness. When we are sick the extra strain and stress of sickness saps whatever energy we have left and we move into the realm of the inferior function which is the "grip".

Stress, Psychological & Physical. Whatever the stress is physical or psychological we call upon all or most of our energy to deal with it. Stressors can be so many and varied. What stresses you may not stress me. However, whatever they are we will deal with them with a high priority. If they are ongoing, pervasive, if they are a natural part of our work lets say, or perhaps a natural part of the relationship we are in, the stress can actually seem to be a natural and healthy thing, but it is not. One acting out in the "grip" all the time might seem normal but it is highly destructive.

Drugs. To the extent that drugs alter the normal behavior of individuals the tendency to fall into the "grip" will increase. We become more vulnerable to falling into the control of the inferior function.

Life Changes. The more stressful any life change is the more likely we are to experience the inferior function, the "grip".

Well, the above are some of the causes of the "grip" experience in a soon to appear post I will talk a bit more about the purpose of the "grip". It is not always a bad thing; but, mostly it is.

Covid19 and Personality Type

What?! What does personality type have to do with the crazy Covid19 virus??

Are any of the 16 types more prone to get the virus?

No, absolutely not.

However, each type will react, respond to the news of the virus in predictable ways.

Each type or each type "group" will predictably respond or be "griped" by the news.

Sensors with be instinctively prone to focus on all the details of the disease and what is being done about it.

Intuits will see the overall general picture, the big picture if you will and become bored if too much detail is discussed for too long.

The "Thinker" will see the logic of the situation and respond with the logical inconsistencies involved.

The "Feeler" will be concerned with how people feel about the sickness and how hurt may spread.

All these reactions represent a response from the "dominant" function. One would expect the Sensor, the Intuit, the Thinker and the Feeler to respond in those ways.

However, when one is "griped" by their "Inferior" function the responses are radically different. In fact, they will be completely opposite of the normal reaction.

The "Sensor" will "catastrophize" on one huge issue, taking a big picture approach emotionally.

The "Intuit" will become upset with one particular detail and blow it out of proportion.

The "Thinker" will become emotional overly concerned with how feelings are compromised.

The "Feeler" will become logical in a direct and insensitive manner.

More about the "grip" experience later. Suffice it to say it is not a comfortable experience. Those who know the person exhibiting the "grip" behavior will know that they are really out of character and not themselves.

I'll discuss why folks go into the "grip" experience in another post.
For now, be understanding when those you love go through the "grip" just as you might want to be understood when it hits you and it will; actually if your human it already has on several occasions and you know it.

Looking For Love-ISFJ Style!

For the "ISFJ" personality type which comprises about 10-13% of the American population, love is all about safety, commitment, responsibility, caring, kindness, affection and eventually marriage.

The ISFJ when they fall in love they fall hard.

The ISFJ has a strong instinctive drive to be of service and falling in love can fulfill this need to a great degree.

Similar to a few other types, the ISFJ has a tendency to stay in bad relationships longer than they should as they fulfill their drive of loyalty and service.

ISFJs are extremely caring and compassionate so dating should be an extension of that. They will be most impressed and pleased with dating environments that express caring, compassion, calmness, consideration for others. ISFJs respond to the warmth and kindness in people.

ISFJs also respond to "old fashioned" dating; flowers, gifts, go slow, quiet walks, cuddling in front of a fireplace, etc.

ISFJs are looking for those who can "naturally" express the above-mentioned attributes of kindness, caring, responsibility, gentleness, loyalty.

If you are ISFJ look for the ESFJ, the ESFP first followed by the "NF" types.

Go to typedates.com to find your ISFJ date!

Looking For Love-ISTJ Style!

For the "ISTJ" which make up anywhere from 8-13% of the American population, depending upon who you talk to, love has everything to do with security, commitment, and steadiness.

If you want to date an ISTJ get ready for a "traditional" approach to romance and dating. I mean, flowers, candy, traditional cards, presents and the like. All of this withing a traditional, simple, common, structured, detailed, cautious, status-quo environment.

Nothing fancy needed. No need for constant stimulation or excitement on the date.

If you are not ISTJ and are wanting to date one, know that the "traditional" dating roles will likely be expected.

ISTJs are steady, dependable and extremely loyal. They will expect the same in return.

ISTJs have a marked tendency, due to their strong instinctive sense of loyalty, to stay in bad relationships way to long. If you are ISTJ, please be aware of this, don't stay in bad relationships, be good to yourself.

ISTJs are naturals at scheduling things, and I mean almost everything can be scheduled. This includes dates, activities on the dates, sex, yes I said sex. Be aware that the tendency to schedule so much comes from their instinctive drive for security and stability.

If you are ISTJ looking to date based on type, for most natural relationship results look for the ESTJ, or the ESTP may be another ISTJ.

Use typedates.com for whatever types you want to date.

Personality Type Scouting Report On Communication-What to Expect!

I'm fond of using a basketball scouting report analogy when talking about personality type and communication.

If you get a good quality scouting report from a trusted source, you KNOW with a good deal of confidence what the other team is capable of and is likely to do.

This is like knowing the personality type of someone you want to date, are dating, want to love, are loving.

You know if the other team brings pressure early full court, if they normally play a man rather than a zone defensively, like to zone inbounds plays, oh all kinds of stuff. Point being, you can prepare for them.

Regarding personality type, all of us speak with our Dominant and Auxillary functions. I mean literally speak our native tongue through these 2 functions. No exceptions. All humans do this. THIS CAN BE ACCURATELY IDENTIFIED!

So the knowledge of how someone is likely to speak to you can potentially help us better understand how to listen and respond.

All of us have a "type code". I am INFJ. That is my "type code" so to speak. It is instinctive and will not change. That gives great assurance and confidence. Your "type code" is instinctive and will not change also.

Now consider this:
1. If I date someone with the same two middle letters (NF) than our communication is likely to be relatively easy. BECAUSE we are speaking the same "psychological" or "behavioral" language.

2. If I date someone with one middle letter same as mine, let's say the "F" is the same as mine but the other letter is different, let's say an "S", then communication is likely to be moderately difficult. BECAUSE we are not speaking the same language, but there is some similarity, this is like "learning" a foreign language vs speaking a foreign language because you are native to it.

3. Also, if the two middle letters are completely different, in this case instead of "NF", matching mine, we have "ST" which is completely opposite of mine then communication is likely to be much more difficult. BECAUSE we don't know the foreign language very well at all, have not studied it, don't really want to! Wow!

Now the reason for this is that for the INFJ, NF represent the Dominantly preferred behavioral function of Intuition (N) and the Second or auxiliary preferred function of Feeling (F). INFJs speak, literaly, THROUGH those two functions. 

Takeaway: The more ALIKE your two middle letters of your personality type code are to someone else's, the better the communication will be. The more UNLIKE they are the more difficult the communication will be.

So use this "code" reality to help as you date and relate with others.