Remove the "Unknown" In Dating

Fear of the "unknown" in dating seems to be one of the more reported difficulties, fears surrounding dating.

Understandable. You don't really know what thay like, don't like, value, don't value. You don't really know the environments they like. You don't know their strengths. Don't know their weaknesses. 

When we date online or date period there is much we do not know as we go into the dating situation.

What if that could be radically reversed?

What if there was a way that would give you a strong idea, going into the date, before the very first date, of what they prefer on several levels.

What if you knew ahead of time how they speak, how they view the world around them, how they reason, how they prefer to manage their every waking moment, what if?

Wouldn't that kind of pre-knowledge reduce a great amount of the "unknown" about the date?

If you had a pretty good idea of what they value, what they like, what they fear, at least in general, wouldn't that provide a more positive expectation of what a date with them might be like?

Then if the prospect was more negative than positive, why date them to begin with?

Well, this kind of pre-knowledge is possible. I've been telling people about it for over 35 years now. What is it?

It is a knowledge of your instinctive personality type. 

When you now your type and even a modest understanding of what your type is about, and you know the personality type of the person you are considering dating, you have enough ammunition, enough pre-knowledge to reduce the "unknown" of dating significantly.

You will never know everything about them, or yourself for that matter, but you will know enough to go into the date if you choose to proceed, with the assurance that there won't be much that will negatively surprise you. You will be dating mostly what you want to date.

I've created a web site, an online dating site based upon personality type which can help you reduce the "unknown" factors in dating. 

typedates.com

Registration is free. The site is new so be patient as it grows. 

Do yourself a favor when you date. Identify and use as much as possible of what is and can be known about you and then define the solid, never changing attributes you would like in a relationship, then use personality type to help you find those people possessing those attributes. Try typedates.com.

"Fear" May Be the Largest Problem When Dating

Fear. 

So much of dating seems to revolve around "Fear". I think this is why dating can be so difficult especially for older folks, 30s 40s and up. They've been hurt. 

I recently researched some of the top reasons that cause dating difficulty. Most of the reasons can be placed under the category of "Fear".

"Being rejected; losing my independence; being lied to; hooking up with a sociopath; never finding my soul mate; being alone if I get it wrong; avoiding divorce; too much baggage".... and the list goes on and on. All related to "Fear" in some way.

So, how can we go about eliminating or radically reducing the "Fear" component involved with dating?

For starters and perhaps more profoundly come to realize that God does NOT give a spirit of fear. If that is true, and it is, then where does fear come from? That is a question for another post but for now, know that a closer relationship with God can drive out all fear.

What does God give related to this conversation? He gives a spirit of love, power, and a sound mind.

Ahh, a sound mind. 

You have a solid foundation of personality type that can be used as one good tool for eliminating the fear associated with dating.

When you know your type this is like knowing yourself. You can make decisions based upon what you really like and don't like, what you want, and don't want in a person, in a relationship because you are deciding based upon INSTINCT, not a whim, not a cultural passing fancy, not superficial appearances. You are deciding based upon a KNOWN quantity, your individual nature, your personality type.

Personality type is an INSTINCTIVE preference for certain behaviors. Match the natural behaviors in your type with folks who have the same type or near the same type of behaviors and you are walking on safer ground. 

When you know what to expect fear can be reduced. Avoid those types who are more likely to behave in ways unlike your ways, who like more of the things, environments, settings, ideas that you do NOT like based upon your unchanging personality type. 

God has given you this ability this personality type. When you know your type you are using wisdom and understanding based upon INSTINCT. You are safer.

My mission has been to help connect people based upon personality type first and foremost. 

Typedates.com is an online dating site geared to help people connect based upon their never-changing personality type FIRST before anything else.

 

I Feel Like I Have Two Types!

Many people feel this way. They feel they are one type at home and another type at work or in some other setting.

The reality is that people are one type. That type is set at birth.

However, we do many things in life and it is safe to say that most of them will put us in environments that are type-unlike our natural type.

You have 8 behaviors or functions that you use:
Extroversion, Introversion, Sensing, Intuition, Thinking, Feeling, Judging and Perceiving.

However, you instinctively prefer only 4 of the 8.

The other 4 or non-preferred behaviors you have and use but they are not as accomplished in a natural and instinctive way.

Most of the time folks will feel more non-type like when they are at work. The work environment demands that more non-preferred behaviors are used in order to get the job done in the best way.

The repeated exercise of non-preferred behaviors is uncomfortable and sometimes absolutely intolerable. Which is one of the reasons folks will change jobs so frequently or burn-out and testify that they hate their work.

At least 70% of all the workers in the world do not like, even hate, what they do for a living. The reason is that they have entered into a work setting that requires them to use their non-preferred behaviors way too much. Why they chose the non-type like work is another subject and one that I was involved with for over 33yrs.

So folks will feel as if they are one personality type at work and a different personality type when not at work. Typically the non-work setting will be at home but may be in any behavioral environment that demands they use their instinctively preferred functions. In other words, the 4 of the 8 behaviors they are imprinted to prefer.

So, with a knowledge of type, it is possible to avoid environments that require too much use of non-preferred behaviors. At the very least with knowledge of type we can prepare for work or any activity that forces us to engage in non-preferred behaviors.